Monday, June 28, 2004
Yeah. That's about right
Stephen Hoyland, the (rather fab) lay chaplain at Lancaster University has left for (hopefully) better things. Since he doesnt have to be nice to anyone anymore - he composed a set of parody hymns for each denominational type group...
...
High Anglican
Immortal, invisible, God only wise
Irrelevant, dreary, so it’s no surprise
That no one not eighty does darken our doors
To spend time with Tories and terrible bores.
Now resting, now sleeping, it’s silent as light
Except for the snoring. The priest says “Good Night!”
The old dears in hats are like nothing you’ve seen.
And majors with medals who fancy the queen.
They think that they’re Catholics cos they like nice smells
And Latin and posh priests and lots of nice bells.
It’s sad but it’s true they are badly deluded
Most Catholics are lefties, the Pope is included.
...
Conservative (Traditional) Catholic
Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
Praise God, all creatures here below.
Praise God above, ye heavenly host.
Praise Father, Son, but Mary most.
The Father’s class, he made us, true.
And Jesus is a nice bloke too.
But his mum, Mary, we like best
So worship her, forget the rest.
Let us now praise Mary our Mother
She’s a saviour like no other
Send your spirit matrix dear
With luck God will not interfere.
...
High Anglican
Immortal, invisible, God only wise
Irrelevant, dreary, so it’s no surprise
That no one not eighty does darken our doors
To spend time with Tories and terrible bores.
Now resting, now sleeping, it’s silent as light
Except for the snoring. The priest says “Good Night!”
The old dears in hats are like nothing you’ve seen.
And majors with medals who fancy the queen.
They think that they’re Catholics cos they like nice smells
And Latin and posh priests and lots of nice bells.
It’s sad but it’s true they are badly deluded
Most Catholics are lefties, the Pope is included.
...
Conservative (Traditional) Catholic
Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
Praise God, all creatures here below.
Praise God above, ye heavenly host.
Praise Father, Son, but Mary most.
The Father’s class, he made us, true.
And Jesus is a nice bloke too.
But his mum, Mary, we like best
So worship her, forget the rest.
Let us now praise Mary our Mother
She’s a saviour like no other
Send your spirit matrix dear
With luck God will not interfere.
