For all my admiring fans, here are my sophomore year quotes:

"You can tell, even if he's standing still, whether someone's a person or a monkey. This is because we're proportional"
- Questionalble assertation by stat prof Tian zheng

"Do you think I can get a house free after rebate?" -- Walder

"No, Saint John the Evangelist is the beloved disciple who is one of the Twelve Judges in heaven judging the Twelve Tribes of Israel. You most likely are on his sh-t list. "
BradM, JewsForJudaism.com

I just found this gem:
"It often happens that I wake up at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope. "
Pope John XXIII

Me and Jon F get into a fight over two used paper plates, and he tosses me to the ground. Ouch.

"I think we should have a sacrament of abortion" -- omar

"I have to wash my hand" -- brian after shaking jonathan's hand

Brian getting transsubstantiation in Pictionary, then a rosary in the mail

"Fred called you an apostate" -- Brian

"If it were up to the protestants there wouldn't be any alcohol in this country" -- Brian
"If it were up to the Catholics the drinking age would be four" -- Will

Jess (10:23:26 PM): fuck getting gifts for other people i need to buy myself more gifts
Jess (10:23:36 PM): x-mas just makes me want to go shopping for myself

We're getting another two feet of snow, I have a lot of reading to do, BUT we got Saddam. Nice. -- Walder

"Chicks dig the Pope" -- me talking to Jess

Chris G.: Yeah, powerful category 5 Hurricane my foot! Just like every other promise to blow me, Isabel let me down! My school sure isn't closed. Thanks a lot Isabel...

David (9:22:44 PM): how come you never see an italian diner?
Acocella (9:22:57 PM): cause they have more class
Acocella (9:23:07 PM): with some exceptions
David (9:23:51 PM): such as myself?
Acocella (9:24:06 PM): no more like sigges like pete
David (9:24:12 PM): that bastard
Acocella (9:24:19 PM): and fuckos like marc
David (9:24:52 PM): that kraut mick?
Acocella (9:25:06 PM): more like terror lord
David (9:25:30 PM): what's his full name now?
Acocella (9:27:10 PM): Sheik Markazah Saddam Mohammed Nawazi Abdullah al-Tambin Husseni bin Khalid al-Tikriti
David (9:27:29 PM): can i put that in my profile?

David i think you ust go and start yelling until they sign you up
Blair: ! What should I yell?
David: fuck you clown
Blair: Ahh
Blair: Ways to make friends and influence peopl
David: damned straight tell them how it is

Brian: Are you batting your eyelashes at me?
David: Yes.
Brian: You have a beautiful face.
David: How do you know?
Brian: My penis told me.
Brian ripping off of Jon F.

"I don't do anything useful"
"Any one of you could go into any bar in 1790s France and kick ass all over the place"
"Let's assume everyone is the same, which is probalby true in New Jersey"
"There's a section in Marx that deals with this . . . Groucho"
"A guy in a hummer, doing 90 on Amsterdam Ave, drinking whiskey, snorting coke, talking on his cell, looking at child porn. . ." now that was a fun externalities problem
Poverty allievation . . . because pareto isn't everything
-- Prof Dan of Econ

"The uncle on the only side of her family"
--Lit Hum revelation about Demeter's new husband

"Where does he have to aim .. . well where does she have to aim . .. well we shouldn't be shooting a monkey at all."
"Einstein kind of screwed things up. Then he figured out the new stuff and unscrewed things."
"Again, a fundamental law of physics is violated, showing if I was smarter I would ahve been a theoretial physicist" -- after a demo fails
-- Prof. Charles Hailey in physics